It’s not wrong to aim for something better. But I have learned to accept who and what I am  and to appreciate the light and the dark side of me. 

Why go to a restaurant when we have a garden?

June has always been the most popular month for weddings since June is named after Juno, the goddess of marriage.

But admit is ladies, it’s not the men that makes you want to get married…

IT’S ABOUT THE DRESS!

Remember when Carrie had a Vogue photo shoot and from 75 the guest list increased to 200? 

See, it’s the dress!

Here are some of the dresses that I think you’ll also like!

Vera Wang

Vivienne Westwood

Monique Lhuillier 

Oscar de la Renta

Okay it’s official, Oscar de la Renta is going to make my dress if I ever get married.

Eat, pray, love. I didn’t know why I got this book. I’ve never had the chance to read it. When the movie came out, I didn’t watch it. I thought to myself, why? I don’t need it. I’m happy and contented with my life. This is about a woman’s search for everything. 

I was happy with my life. We were the perfect couple that everyone liked, envied and hated. I was so happy. So happy that the only person I see was him. Contented. That I didn’t have the chance to grow up. The only relationship I had was my relationship with him. I had no connection to the world. I pushed everyone away from me thinking that he was the only one I need to make me happy.  Selfish. Ignorant. Childish.

“I know this simple fact to be true, for I myself have abandoned people who did not want me to go, and I myself have been abandoned by those whom I begged to stay.” 

― Elizabeth Gilbert

Until one day, the unexpected happened. I don’t why but it happened.

“How could two people who were so in love not end up happily ever after? It had to work. Didn’t it?” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

After weeks of locking myself in the room, crying, thinking, asking…hoping…After weeks of talking to people…After weeks of trying to pretend I was okay…I found God. (Not that I wasn’t praying, but I gained a deeper relationship with Him.) There was this one time when I asked him, why? I prayed for him and You gave him to me. Why are You taking him back? That wasn’t quite of an attitude. But now I understand. 

I have a very good support system at school and specially at home. 

But guess what, when you’re heartbroken, no piece of advice will make you feel better. They just see you, comfort you, but nobody knows how or what you exactly feel. No piece of advice will make you feel better. Only time will tell. 

Last night I wanted to watch this film. I downloaded the film but unfortunately, mac doesn’t support the file. I was frustrated cause I couldn’t find a download link. I thought to myself, okay I’m going to but the dvd tomorrow. But I couldn’t sleep without watching the film. So I ended up buying it on itunes.

I was so inspired. I had a lot of questions on my mind . Again, why? The husband loved her. It was a good marriage. Why do you want a divorce?

Not that I was married or anything, but I can relate myself to her. She said she has been in a relationship with a man since she was 15. She always had a boyfriend. She falls in love, and she falls out of love. She was always in a relationship with a man, but never with herself. 

Just like me.

Right now I am establishing a relationship with myself. So far so good. Now I can do all the things I want. I can buy all the things I want. I can watch all the movies I want. I can eat all the foods I want. 

People are asking if I’m really going to Italy, India and Indonesia. The answer is yes. But not soon. 

People think that the age 23 is the right age to settle down, have kids, do the things you want. When in fact, you still need your parents. I don’t even have my diploma yet. 

I still want to experience living alone in my own apartment, organize my own place, invite friends to come over, have a full-time job, and drive my own Audi R8. A yellow mini cooper is also good. That’s the life I want to have as a twenty’s girl. 

After weeks of…okay you know what I mean. I woke up this morning with a smile on my face! I felt light and happy. I decided to go out for a walk. 

I love the nature. It feels so good to be alone. It feels so good to love myself.

“Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

I’m reading Paolo Coelho’s Aleph and it taught me something about forgiveness and how my life is changing everyday. I am a different person now than 5 minutes ago.

“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert

I paused for a moment and enjoyed the sun. I thought to myself, maybe I needed this pain to grow up.

At one point in our lives, whether you like it or not, we’ll experience failure. Of course I’m not just talking about a failed relationship. We need to fail at least once for us to learn. But don’t worry, God is there to help you. God has a plan for each and everyone of us.

I received a daily hope from the purpose driven life. Getting back up after a failure. 

“Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up. But when trouble strikes the wicked, that’s the end of them.”

-Proverbs 24:16 CEV

I believe that I am a good person because God is always there and He never let me fall.

I forgive him. I forgive myself. I’m letting go.

“Instructions for freedom”:
1. Life’s metaphors are God’s instructions.
2. You have just climbed up and above the roof, there is nothing between you and the Infinite; now, let go.
3. The day is ending, it’s time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.
4. Your wish for resolution was a prayer. You are being here is God’s response, let go and watch the stars came out, in the inside and in the outside.
5. With all your heart ask for Grace and let go. 
6. With all your heart forgive him, forgive yourself and let him go.
7. Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering then, let go.
8. Watch the heat of day pass into the cold night, let go.
9. When the Karma of a relationship is done, only Love remains. It’s safe, let go.
10. When the past has past from you at last, let go.. then, climb down and begin the rest of your life with great joy.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I walked back home.

And made myself a lovely breakfast.

See I brought Bali here!

La dolce vita! 

Okay that’s Italian. 

Il bel far niente!

The movie makes me want to learn Italian.

Mind you, I can count from one to ten! Italian seems easier to learn than Dutch! Haha!

To end this…one thing I’ve learned in this journey is that it is important to have a relationship with yourself. Love yourself, enjoy life and the rest will follow. 

Thanks for reading.

x KP

Every child’s dream is to make his/her mother the happiest on her special day. My sisters and I decided to surprise her and give her something that is made out of love.

Saturday morning, when my parents went out for groceries, we rushed to prepare the surprise. We baked the cupcakes, brownies, apple pie and monchou cake.

This is what she saw when she came downstairs…

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There are different kinds of marriages.

Husband and wife who…
Have kids
Do not have kids
Only see each other once every 3 months or 3 years
Are always happy
Always argue but decided to work it out and stay together

The reason for all of these is love. It doesn’t matter who you are or in what kind of marriage you’re in to. Once you’ve decided to settle down, everything changes. But the love remains.

Sometimes even love changes. Is the love stronger? Or is the love fading? What’s next? Divorce?

Life is really hard when you don’t know what you’re going to do next.

Even if you try hard to make things work for the both of you, if the love isn’t there, you’ll never be happy again. You’ll never be the same couple you used to be.

Don’t get married for the wrong reason. Don’t stay together for the wrong reason.

If you love each other, work it out. If not, take the next step and find your happiness.